


the girl in the dress cried the whole way home

by billiedeansbottom



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse
Genre: Angst, F/F, Songfic, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:08:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29891958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billiedeansbottom/pseuds/billiedeansbottom
Summary: based on "dear john" by taylor swift
Relationships: wilhemina venable/reader
Kudos: 5





	the girl in the dress cried the whole way home

You should have known.

The first time she had laid eyes on you, you were just the girl in the dress. You were the only intern in the bunch to dress professionally on your first day. While Ms. Venable gave what could barely be described as a tour of Kineros Robotics, she only referred to you as “the girl in the dress”. This had been much nicer than the names she had given the rest of the group; frazzled hair, incompetent child, and moron were the only ones you could remember. By the end of the first week, you had heard plenty of rumors about the woman, not a single one positive. You were determined to prove that everyone had the wrong idea about this woman.

Your relationship had a rough start; it took weeks to even get Ms. Venable to speak to you. Even then, it was a short, one-word response. After a few months, you had managed to get a smile out of the woman. You were sure this was a good sign, you hadn’t ever seen her show any sign of happiness. This small gesture made you think you could have been the one to change things, that you could change her demeanor. After many more short conversations that eventually led to grabbing coffee together, you began to think she had changed. She was noticeably nicer to everyone in the office, even if it was just by a small margin.

You thought everyone in the office would have appreciated the fact that you had somehow calmed the harsh woman. It was the case for most of your fellow employees, but there were a few that were worried about this change. One of the senior assistants, Emily, had pulled you into a vacant office one day after you had left Ms. Venable’s desk. When she closed the door, you turned around to face a handful of other employees you had considered close friends. Each one took their turn expressing concern for the road you were headed down, telling stories of girls that had gone down that same path. None of them had ended well, each girl was sent crying from Kineros and was never heard from again. You tried to convince them that things were different, that you were different. Looking back, you regret ignoring their warnings. You should have listened.

You didn’t listen. You dove headfirst into a relationship with the woman, quickly letting your days revolve around her. Many nights were spent talking to Wilhemina, trying to break down the hard exterior she built up around herself. At some point, you had been successful. The two of you were sitting on her balcony and sharing a bottle of wine while she told you stories of people she had once cared for. You listened intently while she explained that every relationship in her life had fallen apart because nobody had ever understood her. Your heart broke for the woman, beneath her cold exterior was this completely different person you had never even met. Suddenly, all of her actions began to make sense. With this information, you were able to understand why she was so harsh to others, why she had developed this cold persona. Wilhemina told you she felt things were different with you, that she hoped you wouldn’t end up like all of the others. You attempted to convince her that you would try your hardest to listen to her and understand, but part of you always knew you would end up on that list. You tried to ignore the thought, but it was always there.

Things had been going well for several months before you were slowly reintroduced to the harsh personality you had met your first day at Kineros. You had quickly learned how to avoid angering Wilhemina, even when her triggers seemed to change with the weeks. Many nights left you confused with what had changed, why you had to now walk on eggshells in your relationship. There was nobody you could turn to about this, you had managed to isolate yourself from all of your friends and family in your time with Wilhemina. You couldn’t call your mom for advice, early on in your relationship she had already expressed her distaste for the older woman and what your relationship had seemed to be doing to you. You pushed it to the back of your mind and continued to tiptoe around Wilhemina until she had shown up at your apartment with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. She apologized for her previous behavior, claiming she had been having problems with her back that caused her to easily snap. You accepted this apology, having been familiar with her disability. She promised to make things up to you, starting with a vacation to a city you had always talked about wanting to visit.

However, this return to her happier personality didn’t last much longer. The first time she snapped again was shortly after you had returned from your vacation. Your first instinct was to make sure she was okay because the last time she had been in this mood was due to her back pain. As soon as you asked about it, you were met with Wilhemina’s growing anger. So you reverted back to your timid self, knowing how to navigate your relationship again.

Your relationship continued to switch back and forth with the months it seemed; some days Wilhemina was the most incredible person you had ever met and others you felt like you were just back to being the girl in the dress. You dealt with it though, you thought being in a relationship and trying to change this woman was worth what you were put through. It wasn’t until you had a conversation with a friend you had managed to isolate yourself from that you realized this wasn’t how a relationship should be. You had been so blinded by your optimism and your determination to make things work that you hadn’t realized you could never truly make Wilhemina happy. There was nothing you could do that she would truly approve of, her expectations of you changed every day.

This realization had been an eye-opening experience for you. You understood why you had been warned about getting close with Wilhemina, why everyone had spoken so negatively of her. You could never change her; she wasn’t capable of changing, not even for you. You had poured everything you had into trying to fix something that was permanently broken. Once you were conscious of this, you were suddenly aware of how much of yourself you had destroyed in so little time. You weren’t happy anymore, your personality had changed. Looking into a mirror, you didn’t even recognize yourself. Your eyes had been almost hollow, deprived of any life when trying to keep up with your relationship. 

You started to slowly pull away from Wilhemina, avoiding her calls when you weren’t at work. It was hard at first, but eventually, you were able to come up with excuses more quickly than you had learned how to love Wilhemina. You started hanging out with your friends again, balancing your friendships and your relationship. You had thought a change in your demeanor would result in a change in Wilhemina’s, but that hadn’t been the case. If anything, she only grew more bitter.

After another conversation with your friends, you decided to get your life back. There was no way you could stay in a relationship with Wilhemina. The good days might have been great, but it was no longer worth sacrificing your wellbeing. You deserved to be loved fully, not whenever Wilhemina decided to give you love before taking it away again the next week. You would leave Wilhemina before she could hurt you any further, there was no way it wouldn’t happen again. You stayed up all night writing your resignation letter, one last thing to get Wilhemina’s approval on. You would end your relationship when you turned in your letter, fearing you couldn’t do them individually.

So here you found yourself, on your way to Wilhemina’s office wearing the same dress you had worn on your first day. You couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of it all, you were ending your relationship in the same outfit it had begun with. You smiled bitterly along your walk as you remembered helping her decorate the space when she had finally been able to move from her simple desk setup. It was where you had shared your first kiss after you both had stayed late one night. The building was filled with too many memories, you had finally understood why every girl before you had left.

“What is this?” Wilhemina sneered as she gripped the letter in her hands. You watched as she reached out to grip her cane, just like she always had done when something had affected her but she refused to show it on her face.

“My resignation letter. I’m leaving.”

Wilhemina looked up to meet your eyes. You were sure it was in hopes to somehow persuade you to change your mind, but you knew it wouldn’t happen. Your decision was final, she had somehow destroyed the happy girl you had been before you had met her and you were determined to get her back.

“I deserve better,” you whispered. “I’m done.”

You didn’t even wait for an answer before you left her office, heading for your desk to grab your belongings. You had neatly packed everything up before you delivered the letter, knowing you were going to be tempted to stay if you had to wait to pack everything. Tears pooled in your eyes as you looked around the space, making eye contact with Emily as you did so. She offered you a sad smile and nodded at you. She wished she could have done more to help you, but it was your choice in the end. You had been too determined for anyone to deter you.

Once you were finally in your car, you let the tears fall. Your body trembled as you sobbed into your hands when the realization set in. You had just quit your job and ended your relationship all at once, you had nothing left. People had walked by your car and offered you sad expressions, but you just continued to cry, hoping to get it all out before you drove home. When you were eventually at the point where you could at least see clearly, you decided to leave the parking garage. Staying would only serve as a reminder of what had just happened. You couldn’t help the tears that continued to fall as you drove back to your apartment, but you promised yourself you would pull over if your vision got too blurry.

The girl in the dress cried the whole way home.


End file.
